A Story To Live By
by Ann Wells (Los Angeles Times)
My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted
out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip. This is
lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite;
silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an
astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan
bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago.
She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess
this is the occasion."
He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were
taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a
moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever
save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special
occasion."
I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when
I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an
unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning to California
from the Midwestern town where my sister's family lives. I
thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought
about the things that she had done without realizing that they were special.
I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life.
I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the
view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time
with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings.
Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor, not
endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them. I'm not
"saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event
such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the
first camellia blossom. I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like
it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small
bag of groceries without wincing. I'm not saving my good perfume for special
parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in
banks have noses that function as well as my party going friends.
"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If
it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now.
I'm not sure what my sister would've done had she known that she wouldn't be
here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think she would have called
family members and a few close friends. She might have called a few former
friends to apologize and mend fences from past
squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her
favorite food. I'm guessing - I'll never know.
It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that
my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good friends whom I was
going to get in touch with - someday. Angry because I hadn't written certain
letters that I intended to write - one of these days.
Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and my daughter often enough
how much I truly love them.
I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would
add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes,
I tell myself that every day, every minute, every breath truly is a gift from
God.
If you've received this it is because someone cares for you. If you're too
busy to take the few minutes that it would take right now to forward this to
some people, would it be the first time you didn't do that little thing that
would make a difference in your relationships? I can tell you it certainly
won't be the last. Take a few minutes to send this to a few people you care
about, just to let them know that you're
thinking of them.